So I love my Cousin, He always is just a calm person and amazing listener. An Amazing person!

I'm starting to feel better about things. I get that pull at the heart strings when i see a pic of my ex and his new gf. but their happy and B*tch i'm better then someone putting me down. Learning to love myself and keeping this up and up gets tough sometimes, but i just remember i'm attractive when i'm happy and smile. I also remember that my Psych TA told me, if you just start to smile, ppl may think your crazy, but just keep smiling and it'll help you be more positive and happy. Its so true. Just think "Bitch Please" and smile! it helps in ANY situation out there.

Witney Huston was right in her song Greatest Love of All."The greatest love of all / Is easy to achieve / Learning to love yourself / It is the greatest love of all " even though its coming again, This time i'm alone and learning to love me for me and improving myself to be a better me. 

sometimes i just want to tell the truth and ruin everything, but then i remember, thats never a good idea... for anyone at all

I have to lie to make you happy but i guess its for the right reasons now?

why am i put though hell for trying to do the right thing when i don't think its right?

Meh

No Matter how hard i try, i always end up the best friend...

Feelings

I feel left behind. =( no one wants to see me, at least no one tells me they do....

today

It should've been a kind of good day, hard final then a friend feeling me. should've been good. Last night and not having my bff/ex bf here to help me through it all, just ruined everything. I feel like i should be like everyone else and just have a good time. why can't i?

Bad day

So today my Guinea Pig Maddi Died... I'm really distraught... I wish someone could just come cuddle with me... I guess bad things happen in hundreds... ='(

even cleaning is making me feel depressed... Finding things that remind me of us. Oh Well... Gotta look at the bright side of things, Major final tomorrow... wait...

Just A Reminder!

To all who read this. Just like i said in my first post and in the name of my blog, this is my place to vent and get out how I am feeling so i can learn to heal and become more confident and happy with myself and who i am and what i need to fix about myself. Its no one else's opinions or feelings, if you have a problem or issue with me or what i'm writing, please take it up with me! Its no one else's business.

 please and thank you! 

Meh

The hardest part about my life right now is seeing the man i love happy with another girl. Even though I try to flirt, Try to make myself feel better, I just always end up feeling unloveable because I don't believe that anyone else will even like me more then just friends. I guess I should just give up. Maybe its best. I wish he never left every night, everyday i remember he is pretty much my only friend. I feel like a useless being and that i'm just taking up resources because since i'm not loveable, what else is there?

man i really gotta start getting to sleep before 1am... but people say alcohol brings out the truth from people, time brings out mine i guess...

looks

I guess i'm getting over the ex, looking at the pics of his new gf, i realize how not pretty she is, ha! i guess thats a good thing. Since when we where together i thought she was. but i guess being a B**ch to that extent changes how you look. I mean, realizing how pretty i am and how much he demoted in the looks department helps is a good thing i guess. =) to good for this sh*t. No boy is worth this crazy hurt that i've been through. i'm done crying, I might cry now to change who i am and learning what i do need to change, but not for a boy who took my heart and stomped on it. Just gonna live life, be pretty, love myself for who I am, and be happy

Meow

Rawr

upset

I feel like the old toy tossed in the corner. I feel like once something new came along i was just thrown away. you feel nostalgic about the past, but are elated about the new

events

Idk why this is all happening to me. I have a couple good friends that I feel ok going to I guess. Today just sucked. getting in a fight with an ex, getting fired for a bs reason, social anxiety spurring up, night issues starting again... idk how much more I can take before I just snap... summer can't come soon enough.. Ohio in a week and 3 days... I really can't wait. it'll be nice to just get somewhere new. I just hope my travel anxiety doesn't kick in =(

Today

Today i cut my ex's hair. first civil thing in a while. give me hope we can be friends with out complications. seams good.
Also hung out on D4 pretty much all day. Mainly with the same few people, especially one in general... I hate that in two weeks everyone is going home and i'm in DeKalb. =(